Zion's: Canyoneering/Reppeling

    Geez! I have seriously slacked on keeping up with my daily life...more like the adventures I've been blessed with these last few weeks! Well summer started off with a good kick...literally. It's amazing how time flies without me realizing it until I look back on the last few events of my life. Where do I even start?!? 

    ....

         Zion's last weekend is probably the best place to start. Here's how it went... 

     We went to Zion's to reppel into the canyon. You should know, many dangerous events occurred during that time. Fractured ankle, swollen eye with a bigg massive goose egg, hair getting caught in reppel device, swimming in who- knows-how-deep-50degrees water, passing out, crying children,hiking/canyoneering/repelling/swimming for 18 hrs(!!!)(almost a whole FReAKIN day!!), search and rescuing and this all happened in one short, fun, unforgettable fam bam bonding time! :) 

    • Swollen eye, good bump, fractured ankle, search and rescue victim was: my aunt and uncles friends wife. ( ??? Confusing...she's a family friend) 

   • Hair loss Victim: me!! Happend on the first reppel. AND it was painful!! Good thing I have plenty of locks to cover the bald spots. 

   • Crying children: my lovely cousins. I was comforting them. At this point we had a few more reppels. We didn't have anything to hook our rope into so my uncle had to reppel each of us down with the rope around him. And this was the unknown-deep-50-degree water too. AND there was a waterfall hitting us while we were reppeling down. Plus we had an injured women. Not to mention our shoes were freakin heavy and my little cousin( he's not little, he's over 6ft) had to help ALL (8) of us swim across  with two logs to support us. Try to imagine how cold it was and how hard it was for him and us...you cant! Shows how tuff my little hero of a cousin is!!!

     Anyway... search and rescue didn't find us until we were in the Narrows and it was pitch black! At this point it was around 10:30ish. Good job to Nathan for being prepard and randomly packing a flash light!! That saved us BIG time! S&R did their stuff and bandaged up Penny (injured women) and helped us out of the last mouth of the journey. 

   So that was the trip! We had started at 7am and didn't get back until 1 in the morning. The sight of a pillow was beautiful to my tired eyes/body! 

      Ahhhh family's are great! I love these kinds of trips! Just the right amount of suspense to get the heart and blood racing. Perfect amount of adrenaline rush too!! Ahhhh I love it!!

Card Canyon Hike

Blessed be to The Lord because he created the most beautiful hike in the world! My favorite place. A place where I can feel so much peace and love for nature and The Lord. It's a place I go to when I need space away from the world. This world is so hard and being away from it if only for a few short hours is a trip I'm willing to take every chance I get. It's helped me realize the importance of the simple stuff. The little things that will matter later later on in life. I'm so grateful for it! I'm so grateful I've discovered a solstice peaceful place for myself to get closer to the Lord.

     So many things have happened these last few weekends that I really haven't had a chance to write them down. I'll do that if not for anyone else than for myself so I can look back and remember these moments.

1. I'm turning in my Mission papers

2. I got to skype my brother (he's in Ireland on his mission)

3. My love life is nothing

4. I'm moving back to layton

     Neat experience that I had leading towards my final decision to serve The Lord. I was hope for Easter weekend and my mom is a ward mission leader or something like that, so she works with the sister missionaries a lot. Well they called Saturday morning to see if my mom would go teaching with them, but she wasn't home. I wasn't even thinking about this before I said it, but I just got this feeling and thought that I should volunteer myself to go with them if they couldn't find anyone. So I did so and I know it was the spirit directing me to the answers to my questions. I didn't hear back from them, but they showed up at my house as my cousin was visiting with me. It was really awkward at first...then I got over if and changed my attitude. I was so sxcited to go with them. At this point I think it was the spirit that I was feeling and I just wanted to keep that. Ha the lesson was a total faile! The old grouchy neighbor of mine was too prideful and attacking the sister missionaries that I was getting really upset with him. So one of the sister's just cut the lesson after 30+ minutes of him ranting on and on about different religions, books that we should read, movies that we NEED to go see, and debates ( more him debating with himself). Boy did I get really fired up with him. 

     It was a great experience none the less. Walking out I felt really excited about serving and possibility going on a mission. The closer we got to my house the more I knew that's what I wanted to do and it's what The Lord wanted me to do. I prayed about it the next day and I didn't really get any feeling happy warm fuzzy feeling. I didn't get an immediate answer. It's because I went to The Lord with an answer that I already knew was right, but I just needed to pray if for no other reason than to talk and connect with The Lord. I'd gotten out of doing that. I did it every once in awhile, not all the time. And I think I needed to realize that. 

     

     So I told my mother the next day and she was super excited for me. I cried while I was telling her. For fear that she wouldn't be excited for me. And more because I knew what I was telling her was right and that I needed to do it. I felt overwhelmed with the spirit. I felt loved radiating all around me. From my mom, the Lord, and those in spirit that was around supporting me with my decision. I'm so grateful for the power of prayer! I have more to learn and I'm going to because I want to. 

Fat. Overweight. Why?

     The last few weekends that I've gone home I've gotten the comments like "you look great! Have you lost weight?" Or "you've lost weight! That's great!" and if they hadn't been my mom's friends I would have punched them in the face! I was baffled and taken off guard because they were acting, in a sense, as the media about how everyone, women especially, need to look a certain way physically. Toned and in shape skinny.

     I started thinking " was I really fat before?, did people really see me as a little bigger?, Was I really fat??" I never had any problems with my own body image. EVER!! But those few weeks/days after I heard those comments I sure felt and thought that I was fat, ugly, and overweight. At firsts I didn't let it big me, because I never cared about what people saw the physical side of me. 

     I worked out because I wanted to. Not because I wanted to look like someone the media and culture threw in my face. I worked out because I love to feel good about myself. And I was more positive than negative. I did it for myself. 

     I felt really low about myself for a bit. Then I talked to my mother and she said, "you look toned and built. I noticed that the other day." Then she said " growing up you were always smart because you never cared about your weight. I think it would be wise of you to continue that way." My mom hit it nail on. I took her words and ran with if rather than what people or media had to say.   

     I got out of my self-absorbed body image issue then. I didn't care what anyone else thought of my weight, so why should I care now?!? I love myself for my body, intellect and all the many problems that comes with being Martina. It really bugged me until I came to the conclusion that I am who I am and what the norm says or thinks about what I should look like doesn't matter to me and it shouldn't too you either. I still weigh the same as I did when I was a freshman and it's because I'm comfortable being myself in my own skin. Because of other curricular activities, rock climbing, I've gained muscle without even realizing it. It's shaped me and I didn't notice it and that wasn't even my goal. I workout and I do physical activities because I LOVE to. Not because media or society tell me to so I can get a  perfect body. I was never one to care what people thought of my body image. I sure don't have any intention to do so now nor do I  in the near future. I wasn't going to EVER again! 

     For most it's easier said than done. All becaus of the media and the culture we are surrounded by. The media get women feeling insecure and bad about their body because they put out this fantasy image of what every women should look like, act like, shape like and be like. That stuff is thrown in every direction at fast speeds. So there's going to be pressure and expecations from the media and even more from ourselves. And some people have a hard time with that expectation.  It got me thinking about how most girls go through trouble with body image. I wish that wasn't such a huge problem in society today. But It's a very common problem we have to deal with. In a culture where we are being hit with garbage about what a perfect body is, especially girls, we degrade ourselves and pull our own self image and esteem down to nothing. Where we starve ourselves and work our body's so hard it's unhealthy emotionally menatally and physically. It stops us from eating the right nutrients, from getting the rest our body needs. That's when we forget that someone loves us, you, for your body, intellect and personality. And they don't like seeing us this way.  

     Society and the media have corrupted young girl's, guy's and adult's minds into thinking AND believe they are nothing because they don't look like a top of the notch model. Well guess what!? That's a bunch of BS! We can't all be that way. We are all different for a reason, because someone or many someone's love you for who you are. Love yourself for who you are. You ARE beautiful. You're life is beautiful! 

     Don't let media or anyone control what you need to be or look like. Stand against that group especially women who pull ourselves and each other down. Motivate, encourage, and accept each other and what we all are. Different. Be yourself because that's what God made you to be. Lif is beautiful! Accept yourself fully and embrace the you! 

On a completely unrelated ropic...check these pictures out from my hike in Card Canyon! They're beautiful, but not as beautiful as the actual canyon. Pictures can never really show the beauty of something like this, at least that's what I think.

House Show

     I've made a commitment that I would do something once-a-day that I'm afraid of or have never done before and it's put me in an uncomfortable position or out of my zone. Tonight I did this. Even if it was only for an hour or so. I've never been around a group of people who are smokers, pottheads, or hard core opposite end of how I was raised. I was never exposed to that group of people before. Tonight I was. I've never felt so out of place and embarrassed or completely uncomfortable about my standards and who I am. It wasn't like I was expecting any of those feelings when I decided I was going to go. And it's not like anyone offered me anything or even talked to me. They all smiled and nodded their heads as they passed by me. But, still, I was uncomfortable.

     Like I said; never been exposed to people who drink, smoke, are/get high, so much vulgarity, and/or people who don't have the same standards as I do. I heard the Lord's name being slaoundered, even by my friend in a joking way, and I was so offended and hurt! I've never wanted to cry so much before because it hurt that to him and them it was a joke. It's not a joke to me. But in that moment I realized how important the Lord really is to me and how much I rely on him for that love because I felt loved even when I felt out of place during this time. 

      Then there was this girl who had dropped a pack of cigarette out of her back pocket and she didn't notice, I did. I was going to leave it and hope that she would realize on her own that it was gone and she would look for it by herself. But that's not who I am. So, I left the wall I had been hugging, I walked over and grabbed it. I didn't want to bring too much attention to myself, but that was already too late since I decided to help her out and everyone in the back was watching. 

     She was dancing and I was right behind her, ready to tap her on the shoulders and give it to her, but I hesitated. I got nervous and embarrassed because this other girl was watching me and I was right in front of her. So I told her it was the girl's pack and I was hoping she'd take the credit and give the item back to the girl, but she didn't. She just starred at me. So I finally tapped her on the shoulder and, I could feel the heat in my face, told her she had dropped something. I gave it to her,  she smiled and said, "thank you!". Still, I felt uncomfortable and out of place. Then I went back to hugging the wall. 

     I almost left. It wasn't a place for me. I didn't fit in and I sure didn't act like them or think like them. It wasn't my kind of party either. My friend asked me to go and I told him I'd think about it. I also told him it probably wasn't a place for me. He assured me and said it would be fine. So I trusted him and made a decision to go.  I was trying to convince myself to not go. But I went anyway because, honestly, i was curious what it would be like. I'm glad I went because the music was incredible! I loved all the songs, instruments, and voices! They're really talented and I can't wait to hear more of their music. But....

     I knew if I left I would feel defeated and like all my commitments would be thrown out the door. So I stayed the whole entire time. Even through all the uncomfortable feelings and the feeling of not belonging. I stuck it out because I wanted to improve myself. I wanted to be true to my commitment. I wanted to learn and grow from this experience. I genuinely wanted to hear the band too. And I wanted to support my friend.   

     I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. I learned a few things about myself: 

1). I LOVE The Lord and He loves me

2). I will NEVER be embarrassed about my standards and beliefs.

3). I will ALWAYS stay true to myself and the Lord

4). No one can change me and I am who I am 

5). It's good to be exposed to the world as long as I remain true to myself and not allow Satan to waver me

6). My beliefs and testimony is what keeps me strong and away from temptations.

      So I did do something I've never done before. I was terrified, I felt  completely small, and out of place. I stayed because I made a commitment. I wanted to support a friend and get over my fear and do something I've never done before. I don't plan on going to too many of those events, but if I go again I'll go proud of my standards and who I am. I'll be true to myself and the Lord. Really we all need to be in the mind set of being ok to do something we've never done before.  

     One of the biggest reasons I went was because I wanted to support my friend. But for me I'm going to support him in a different way from now on. I can't expose myself to that kind of stuff ever again. It isn't something I can ever get comfortable with as time goes by. I don't think I'm above him or that group. Oh no! That kind of stuff isn't who I am and I am not looking down on the way they act, talk or, their choices. They're really nice people, their enjoyment and entertainment is not my enjoyment or entertainment. That's just fine. I respect them for their choices. I just don't feel the need to be part of that. So I'm glad I went. It was a great learning and growing experience. My opinion of my friend is still the same expect I have more respect for him and his talent. He's still a good guy. Just more better to me because I didn't realize how talented he really is. 

Causing Traffic Jam

     Oh man! Last night was sure a night to remember and learn from. So I had gone to the temple with a friend, but we didn't end up going in because it was late and they were closed. We just drove back home. I decided to drive back and just sit in the parking lot. My Engine Oil Pressure light kept coming on and off so I pulled over to add some oil to the car. I was feeling really good about myself because this young college guy had pulled over to help me, but I told him I was fine. He was really impressed that I was working on my car by myself, thanks dad!, so he watched me for a few minutes to make sure I was fine. He left with my number because...I guess he was really impressed. I felt like I was on cloud 9 because I had fixed my car by myself.

      Well I was on my way home right in between Pineview and old farm apartments when my car decided to stop working! I was at a stop light, in the turning lane with a motorcycle dude behind me, in a car that just stopped working. Super embarrassed, but I turned my hazard lights on and cycle man came over to see what happened. He told me to put the car in neutral and back it to the left side of the road. Well while he's directing/pushing my car these people decided to stop and watch. Pineview, Old Farm, traffic, and pedestrians. 

     Then a few more guys come to see if they can help. I was in the middle of the opposing traffic, they had stopped, and those guys who jumped out of their cars to help had created a traffic hault all because of me. And I was a bigger reason for the traffic jam too...I was in everyone's way. Anyways so people are watching, I'm on the phone with Jessica and she's watching from her apartment balcony, and the group of handy men are deciding what's wrong with my car. I just randomly put my car in drive and as soon as I did that I screamed because it decided to work! Then the group of men clapped along with other people. Motorcycle dude was in the middle of road clearing the area and telling me I can go. 

     I guess the moral of the story is...I'm good at getting attention, even if it's unwanted, and I'm really good at causing a traffic jam. I told my friend Buhler about the whole thing and he said I should be proud nonetheless. And you know what?? I am! I'm so proud that I kept my emotions in check, sorry for flipping you off Jessica, and it seriously could have been worse. I also learned that even if you don't do temple work and you just visit the temple ground it can be returned in blessings. I know I was being looked out for. 

    I think my car is fine now...I haven't driven it since last night. Hopefully it is and I don't cause a traffic jam in the middle of Main Street on my way to work. But through out the whole thing I laughed. I guess I was just high on the Holy Ghost and it didn't really get to me...that much. I did repent for language afterwords. Blessings on blessings.

Moab Pictures

The crew before our adventure

We're girls so of course we're going to over pack with our clothes... But we left a few important camping necessities. 

We did set up the tent by ourselves

Nap time after a long drive

Trying to block the fire from wind

Maawaaaagggeeee to Moab

The next morning... Beauty sleep at its finest!! 

Our hike in Arches National Park

 

It's beautiful

Between us two we're really good at taking selfies. It's perfect.

Montana really is a happy girl...she was just thinking.

At the sand dunes

My short enjoyable moments of being a mermaid

Canyon Lands: Mother Nature has done it again! This place stole a piece of my heart. Next to Logan Canyon I've got a huge spot in my heart for this place.

Theme song:  I'm on top of the world -Imagine Dragons

Titanic in Canyon Lands...sure why not!?!

The Road that I wanted to drive on

Geez this place is beautiful!

Livin on the edge, Jessica had a few near heart attack experiences with me wanting to be so close to the edge. She couldn't handle it.

The freezing water fall

There is so much truths to our personalities in this candid moment.

Turned my camelback into fanny pack

Gas pump wasn't working, didn't want to move the car, so we stole the other sides pump. Montana is a genius!

And last of all shopping!! A girls gotta shop!